Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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