It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
