Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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