he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
