I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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