you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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