I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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