Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
