Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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