I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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