please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
