im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Randomize
