Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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