He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Porn is love you can see.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
