I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
