better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
It's never too late to be topless.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
