I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
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No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
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We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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