My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
