you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
now i know why i became what i already was.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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