I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
my nose is crying tears of wow.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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