Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
