We won't sleep together?
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
