He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Randomize
