Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
this will be a night to untag.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
