so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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