Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
