Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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