New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
