I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
