you traded sex for a burrito?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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