So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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