so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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