Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
