Pappa wants mamma naked
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I need to stop coming to work sober
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
