I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
