maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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