problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
