Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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