is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
