distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
