He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Randomize