Yo dont text me then not text me
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
