Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
