my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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