idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize