NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You are a genius and a whore.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
