dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
