help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize