Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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