pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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