It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Randomize