Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
