If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
