you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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