2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just pynch a tree in the face
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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