I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.