I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.