Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Acid is not a monday night drug
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
